The Rock - 1996

“The Rock” asks the age-old question: Glass or plastic?

Whether you want your VX-gas-riddled corpse stored in a glass jar or a plastic bag, Nicolas Cage’s FBI science nerd Stanley Goodspeed will be there to analyze it.

Sean Connery gets top-billing in Michael Bay’s ridiculous, violent and super-fun action-adventure, but it’s Cage’s non-swearing accidental badass who steals “The Rock.” Ed Harris is a general-turned-reluctant terrorist who takes a bunch of tourists hostage on Alcatraz, and so the powers-that-be need to recruit the only man to ever escape – Connery’s British spy James Bond…errr John Mason to help the good guys break in. Cage’s Goodspeed is there to defuse a bunch of rockets comprised of the most fragile array of face-burning, heart-stopping goo you can imagine. Seriously, if those Tide laundry pods break so easily, how could the government have confidence in little green orbs of super poison?

Anyway, “The Rock” is relentless, with three full action scenes BEFORE the good guys ever touch down on Alcatraz. That includes a wild car chase through San Francisco, but rest assured, Connery is only BORROWING YOUR HUMVEE.

Old Millennnials Remember Movies hosts Tyler and Angela discuss their love of the Cage-Connery pairing, some of the real-life history of the island prison, and Tyler’s disappointment when he attended the real attraction and didn’t find a “Temple of Doom” style-mine car track anywhere on the property.

The hosts marvel at the movies deep bench of supporting players, including John Spencer (RIP), Brenda from “General Hospital,” and maybe Steve Bannon? That Humvee guy looks like Steve Bannon.

Tyler and Angela definitely don’t cut the chit-chat, A-HOLE in this episode, which is probably comprised of at least 50 percent admiration for Nicolas Cage’s gloriously strange line-readings. We talk Zeus’ bunghole, the marriage police and whether either host would take pleasure in gutting you, BOY!

The Summer of Jerry Bruckheimer continues with “The Rock,” also known as maybe the only good Michael Bay movie.

Also discussed on this episode of OMRM:

No Sudden Move (2021)
Boss Baby: Family Business (2021)
The Ice Road (2021)
America: The Motion Picture (2021)
Good on Paper (2021)
Freaky Friday (2003)
Sweet Tooth (2021 television series)

Check out past ‘Summer of Bruckheimer’ episodes of Old Millennials Remember Movies:

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