Armageddon - 1998

An asteroid the size of Texas that literally “roars” as it approaches Earth perfectly represents the over-the-top and punishing nature of Michael Bay’s “Armageddon,” a movie with about 1,000 action sequences, 10,000 one-liners and roughly 65 million cuts. No single shot lasts more than a second or so. It may not be a great movie, but it’s definitely the MOST movie of the 1990s.

“Armageddon” is a fascinating stop for Jerry Bruckheimer, a producer mostly known for R-rated action movies. With a shiny PG-13, and a “Titanic”-feeling romantic subplot between Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler, “Armageddon” lured hordes of teenagers to the multiplex, and they all got a full helping of Bruce Willis machismo and bizarre Steve Buscemi horn-doggery.

Old Millennnials Remember ‘Armageddon’

Old Millennials hosts Tyler and Angela have vivid memories of experiencing “Armageddon” in the summer of 1998. There were packed auditoriums of sobbing adults (damn you, Harry Stamper for breaking your promise!), McDonald’s mini-posters hung on walls and two different soundtracks purchased (probably) at Sam Goody (the Aerosmith-centric album and the Trevor Rabin score). Years later, even an A.J. Frost action figure might be purchased.

Both hosts loved the movie as teenagers… then at some point, the assaultive pacing and relentless action just stops being fun. This movie blows up everything… entire cities, multiple space shuttles/vehicles, even the damn opening title card gets blasted to smithereens. Nuclear bombs get set off too early, Affleck jumps over the Asteroid Grand Canyon and Steve Buscemi gets space dementia.

And yet, there are moments of “Armageddon” that still demonstrate why the movie became such a massive hit. The cast, which includes welcome faces like Billy Bob Thornton, Michael Clarke Duncan, Owen Wilson, Ruskie Peter Stormare, Cooper from “Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper,” plus the already mentioned leads (Affleck rules in this movie; fight us!), deliver some solid laughs, and, every now and then, Michael Bay stages some stirring sequences, usually the ones without the explosions.

We’ve got just five words for you: Go pack a big bag of Animal Crackers because you won’t want to miss a thing of this episode of OMRM. That’s like 11 words or something.

Also discussed on this episode of Old Millennials Remember Movies

The Suicide Squad (2021)/Suicide Squad (2016)
Pig (2021)
Zola (2021)
Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
Val (2021)
Woodstock 99: Peace, Love and Rage (2021)
Gunpowder Milkshake (2021)
Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar (2021)

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