A partial defense of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ sequels

Back in 2003, the concept of a theme park ride turning into a multi-billion dollar movie franchise sounded ridiculous to every sane
person on the planet.

Yet, “Pirates of the Caribbean” continues to dominate the box office. Most of the credit has rightfully gone to star Johnny Depp, who has played the mischievous Captain Jack Sparrow through four installments, including the latest, “On Stranger Tides.” It’s a dynamic and unique performance, deserving placement alongside some of the greatest characters in screen history.

Most people consider the first film, “The Curse of the Black Pearl,” to be the best of the bunch, which it is, but I’ve also enjoyed the
less popular sequels, “Dead Man’s Chest” and “At World’s End.” Critics ravaged these films, calling them convoluted, overlong and
preposterous.

No argument here. That’s exactly why I love them.

I love the sheer lunacy of “Dead Man’s Chest,” particularly how director Gore Verbinski escalates the action to cartoonish levels. The
villain has a slimy octopus face, and the climatic sword fight takes place on a giant hamster wheel. It’s a carnival of a movie, and Depp
dashes through it with the energy of a small child.

“At World’s End” took an even harsher pummeling from critics and audiences, mostly because of its bloated three hour running length and a plot that required 10 times the concentration of a typical summer blockbuster. I remain convinced the story makes sense to those paying attention, and I enjoy how every major character ends up double and triple-crossing each other by the end.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think either film is particularly good. They both can’t hold a candle to the original film, which managed to
mix mystical adventure with kooky humor in a way that hasn’t been matched since. But I appreciate how the sequels attempt something grander than the typical Hollywood follow-up. They are pure insanity, with Depp’s behavior getting more and more bizarre as it goes along.

Perhaps my appreciation of the previous sequels is the reason I am so disappointed with “On Stranger Tides,” a movie that ditches several characters and subplots in favor of a straightforward sea race to the Fountain of Youth.

The acting is certainly there: In addition to the always reliable Depp, Ian McShane, Penelope Cruz and the reliably hammy Geoffrey Rush infuse the new film with some of that swashbuckling spirit from the original.

The story, however, is just so pedestrian. Other than a fun opening sequence in London and a nifty encounter with ravenous mermaids, “On Stranger Tides” takes a most predictable path to its underwhelming climax.

Director Rob Marshall (“Chicago”) takes over for exiting franchise player Verbinski, and the result is decidedly mixed. For a guy so
experienced in musical showmanship, “On Stranger Tides” has no rhythm. The movie drags in spots, and the numerous action sequences are choppy and uninvolving.

For a movie so focused on Captain Jack, Depp feels restrained in this outing. The character has a few classic bits here and there, but too often Sparrow is required to drive the story forward and behave like a typical big screen hero. The worst thing you can do to Captain Jack Sparrow is make him a steady and reliable protagonist.

“On Stranger Tides” isn’t exactly a bad movie. After the last two films, many viewers might even appreciate this more straightforward
adventure. Captain Jack is still (mostly) the Captain Jack we love, and there are moments of fun sprinkled throughout the film

To me, however, this is the first film in the franchise that feels rehashed. I want more double-crosses. I want more ridiculous sea
creatures. I want Michael Bolton in there dressed as a pirate. The crazier, the better.